Hard Corporate Life Fact

In the past few years,
1. I learnt to operate 3 critical machines
* Scanner
* Printer
* Xerox Machine

2. I learnt to use 3 High End Software:
* Microsoft Word
* Microsoft Excel
* Microsoft PowerPoint

3. I learnt to use 3 great short cuts:-
* Ctrl+C
* Ctrl+V
* Ctrl+S

4. I learnt to say three very imp words for professional life:-
        * Yes sir
        * Ok sir
        * I'll Just Do That sir

5. When I really wanted to quit, I learnt to: -
        * Wake Up early
        * Sleep late
        * Continue to Work

       
6. I learnt to: -
        * Face Monday
        * Fight For 6 Days
        * Wait For Saturday
       
7. I learnt to give reasons to family frnds and relatives for not making
        * Phone Calls
        * Messages
        * Mails
       
8. I learnt to celebrate these things far away from loved ones:-
        * Birthday
        * New Year
        * Festivals
       
9. In last one year, People say:-
        * You Learnt...
        * You Earned...
        * You Enjoyed...
       
10. But when I compare me with my self...
        * I just Sustained...
        * I just Tolerated...
        * I just Survived... for bucks
       
 11. I have survived:-
        * For convenience of my Family...
        * To avoid blame of Society...
        * To get tag of Employment...
      
12. When I already knew that I have got the wrong train.
        * I learnt to Rejoice...
        * To be Happy...
        * To Smile...

       

I learnt that corporate life and dreams can never meet... Because when they meet, both will lose their meaning...
   

Amazing Ads from Matrimonial Websites

Read it completely!!!!!!   
hi, 
This is Ultimate.................I bet u can't stop laughing. 
These are Girls'  profiles taken from shaadi.com These are actual ads on 
a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a 
profile description as everything is straight from the heart! 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If 
any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good 
education but i working all field in bangalore if u like me u 
welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident 
or send u letter.. 
Thanks 
yours Regards Sowmya ~*~ 
(Truly yours) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state 
she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework 
(Homework?) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I 
love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. 
I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i 
love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on 
........hold my hand forever !!! 
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my 
lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot (I don't know why but this is one of my favorites) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but 
while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast 
(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO 
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL 
MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY 
THEY ARE 
1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD. 
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION 
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH. 
(all of us are loughing {laughing}) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone 
groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he 
would be called the man of the lamp 
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants) 
Infact she doesn ?t know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ? 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I 
love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok 
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is 
suffering from "Ok-syndrome") 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & 
mother sister completely married 
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 
' completely'?) 
( Confused ????? ) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me 
pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes 
(height of desperation! J ) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred. 
(No comments) 
(Plz ? for gods sake ask somebody ?s help in framing sentence ) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. 
i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other 
caste accepted (but credit cards not accepted..???) 
(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit s??????? Is there 
anything like that.) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social 
service. 
(Zebra..???) 
(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color)

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS!

Questions and the Answers given by Candidates (oh sorry, most of them are IAS Officers now).

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

A.Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?

A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?

A. No Problem, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?

A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ?

A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper)

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?

A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?

A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?

A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )

Q. How many buckets of water does Pacific Ocean contains?

A : It depends on the size of the bucket. (CA Institute Campus Interview Placement)

Interviewer said 'I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!'

The boy thought for a while and said, 'my choice is one really difficult question.'

'Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.. 'What comes first, Day or Night?'

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on his answer, but he thought for a while and said, 'It's the DAY sir!'

'How' the interviewer asked.

'Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!'

&
.
.
.
.

He was selected in IIM!  Lolz 

Interview

Bill gates, the chairman of Microsoft was looking for an employee for his turkey project and invited bio-data for it. 20,000 applied, Ismail bhai from Hyderabad was one of them.

Mr. Gates called all the applicants in a large hall room and said: those who do not know java programming should leave the building. 10,000 left and 10,000 remained. Ismail bhai didn't know java but he thought he doesn't have anything to loose, so why not to take a chance, he can learn java later after he gets the job. Now Mr. Gates said: those who don't have skill in networking should leave. 5,000 left, 5,000 remained. Ismail bhai didn't leave as he thought that he can learn networking later after he gets the job, moreover he has nothing to loose, and why shouldn't he take a chance. Mr. Gates again said: those who have no experience working in Windows and Unix should leave. 3,000 left. Ismail bhai didn't leave. Lastly Mr. Gates said those who don't know turkey language should leave. 2,998 left. Ismail bhai and another person were standing in the hall. Mr. Gates said: OK, so you two guys meet all the criteria we need, fine. We shall run some test now. First you'll talk to each other in turkey language. Getting the instruction Ismail bhai very politely and casually asked the other person "Kya miya kaise hai ?" (How are you [in Hindi]) the other person replied "sab maze me chal ra, aur batau ustaad" (Everything is going fine [in hindi])!!!

Tut ke Chahegi

Socha tha humne ki tut ke bhi hume chahegi woh....
Socha tha humne ki tut ke bhi hume chahegi woh...
Par hua aisa ki,

Socha bhi humne,

Chaha bhi humne,

Aur Tut bhi hum gaye...

Arry ki Tweetu

Ek tweetu thi diwani si,
Arry pe woh marti thi,
Chori chori chupke,
Shayriya likha karti thi,
Kuch kahena tha use shayad,
Lekin Arry se woh darti thi..
Use jab bhi time milta tha,
Kuchbhi pe blog likha karti thi.

Khubsurat Tweetu

Tweetu ki khubsurti ne diwana kar diya,
Arry ko apne aap se baigana kar diya.

Tweetu ke pyare pyare design wale dant,
Aur vo ghanto tak phone pe karti rahti Arry se baat..

Tweetu ki batien pariyon ki kahani..
Arry ko dil se lagati ekdam suhani..

Tweetu ki  Ankhien chhoti chhoti,
Arry ko vo lubhati koti koti

Tweetu ke gol gappe jaise gaal,
Arry ko ata uspe bahut pyal..

Very Nice...Read It!!!

“Hello,
plss.. talk to me… y u r not picking up the call ?????”

“everything is alright?”

“wat alright.. noting is alright.. see the time.. its 11pm.. n I m coming now from office..no food for me today also.. now I will cook… From the past 3 days..I m eating only maggie… n my PM eating only me..see the price hikes, everything is 2/- more frm yesterday.. except my salary…I think the begger in front of my office.. earns more than me.. wat shud I do…”

“wat happened.. wat r u talking”

“wat i m talking???? no, I m not talking.. Manager dont allow anyone to talk except the client.. who always talks something.. from past 3 months i didnt take any leave..now from 3 weeks.. i m just begging for one damn leave.. n wat response i got….’why u want to waste an important day of ur life??’

i now finalize one more time… yes..i m gonna quit.. this project… but, i cant. no, i can.. but i wont..uh…”

“ok.. now Relax…”

“How can i relax… for relaxation ppl do yoga, but its night so i cant, then else they watch movies… but see, in every channel all bogus movies r repeating, same.. ‘Welcome’, ‘Suryavansham’,Govinda’s movies… it really irritates… everyone is faking in TV, fake news, fake stories, fake swaynwars, fake reality…ah see the movies u will get to know…
In “Rock-on” last scene… Arjun Rampal’s wife says to taxi driver, that
“hurry up, we r going late for Airport…” Airport…??? I dont understand, how can  thought he find a job in Cruze.. not Airlines..

In 3 Idiots… starting scene… Madhvan does the drama to leave his flight, then what happened to his luggage??
In same movie… Kareena is a doctor.. that too a surgeon.. to bcame a surgeon.. It requires atlest 5[MBBS]+3[MS] years..
so she shud be 28… n Aamir as a student.. only 18 or 20 ?? then after 10 years they decide to marry.. means she is 38 ??
I dont understand, how can spiderman reach to the church-bell in part-3, when he lost all his power ??
I dont understand, how Balakrishna can send a train back just by Hitting his thighs, when I cant ??
I still dont understand how could Rajnikanth fly without wings ?? i just dont…..”

“hey stop it now..”

“am I a train who will stop it, by pulling chain… ohh train.. I dont understand, how can I didnt  see one in last 3 months… how will i see ?
All the time monitor is in front of me.. in night also wen I open my eyes, I find my username and password window..
I need to cool down..

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

but someone tell me howw.. everytime there is a powercut here..
except wen i m not in home.. home, wat rubbish,its a damn single room.. where i m living alone with my pillow..

I also want girlfriend yaar, like my rivals have..
smita, rashmi, priti, sruti,.. anyone frm my odc is ok, but they all r engaged, u know y ?
Bcoz their boyfriends do not work in IT companies, outside girls do have chat wid me but only on my salary day..  
I got rejected 31 times.. u know y ?? each time I propose them, they ask where do u live..  
I say in my Cubicle.. Bcoz thats the only place u can find my soul all the time..”

“hey man, u better take rest, we will talk in Morning”

“ Morning.. are u talking the same morning.. Sun rises, bird flies, omlette fries, employee cries… damn, i didnt see the Sun,from 3 years.. how it looks like… every morning I catching shuttle, reaching my birthplace ‘cubicle’ working n working n
leaving when Sun uncle is not there… i will hit my room-owner some days, every morning he used to cry for increasing room rent,
I will always tell him to go n meet my Manager… I dont understnd how can i be so nice to my colleagues..
Each time they want leave, they repeat the same old dialogue… “my sister’s marriage”.. my colleague's 9 sisters got married,
3 times grandpa expired,
5 times frnd went to ICU.. but my colleague is fine..
and his favorite dialog “i need to drop a frnd to hospital, as he is not
feeling well” later i find movie tickets in his purse…
then my pm’s motivational speech.. ‘u will work.. u will grow’.. means if i wont work.. i will shrink or what…

when I need hike, I m junior.. still need to grow.. when I do mistakes.. comon man u r senior now, u can not do mistakes.. ahhh
God gimme some power to understand the greatness of a super natural person known as PM in this world..”

“ok enough now, i m disconnecting”

“wait.. i called you.. n u r disconnecting.. u know previously i was normal, when i was in college, i used to talk continuosly watever i want, now i m talking only this much… ‘yaa its done’, ‘that work is completed’, ‘Please..’, ‘Good Morning’,‘Lunch’,'Tea’,’Snacks’..

I dont know wat i m talking abt, i shud b happy.. i have saturday n sunday..
Saturday to recover from the disaster been made from monday to friday..
Sunday to think about upcoming disaster from monday to friday.. cool naa..

you heard that in 2012 earth will end.. then also my ODC and my cubicle will remain as it is.. u know why ??
because that's not a part of earth.. n we employees are not human beings… we are aliens, so better before u start getting headache… go have a nice dream.. me, I will again start my day tomorrow like I m starting everyday..
good night…”

beeeeeeeeep…beeeeeeeeeep…beeeeeeeeeep
**********************************************************

Next Day, in office:-

“Saurabh, Please come here”

“Yes Surya!!”

“I approved your leaves.. i think you should go and have some fun”

I happily came out, and checked my phone Dialled calls..

“Ohhh my God, yesterday I called my PM only… shit”

A Real Story... Read it tilll END

A  guy was driving from Mumbai to Pune and decided not to take the new
expressway as he wants to see the scenery.
The inevitable happens and when he reaches the ghats his car breaks down -
he's stranded miles from nowhere.
Having no choice, he starts walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a
lift to the nearest town. It's dark and raining. And pretty soon he is wet
and shivering.
The night rolls on and no car goes by, the rain is so heavy he can hardly
see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly he sees a car coming towards him. It slows and then stops next to
him - without thinking the guy opens the door and jumps in.
Seated in the back, he leans forward to thank the person who had saved him -
when he realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!!
Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the
car starts moving slowly. The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a
curve coming.
Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life.
He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand
appears through the window and moves the wheel!
The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to the next
bend.Each time they are before a curve, a hand moves the steering wheel just
enough to get the car around each bend.
Finally, the guy sees lights ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches open
the door of the silent, sl!owly moving car, scrambles out and runs
as hard as he can towards the lights. It's a small town.
He stumbles into a dhaba, and asks for a drink, and breaks down. Then he
starts talking about the horrible experience he has just been
through.
There is dead silence in the dhaba when he stops talking
.........................................







 
 
 
 
 
 
 










........... And that's when Santa and Banta Singh walk into the dhaba.
Santa points at the man and says "Look Banta - that's the weird guy who
got into our car when we were pushing it."

 HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Chat with God!!!

God: Hello… Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No… Who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something…
God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don’t know. But I can’t find free time. Life has become hectic. It’s rush hour all the time.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can’t figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That’s why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don’t suffer. With that experience their life becomes better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can’t we be free from problems?
God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don’t know where we are heading..
God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God: when they suffer they ask, “why me?” When they prosper, they never ask “Why me”. Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can’t get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Day with a new sense of inspiration.

God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don’t believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve.

LOVE & LIFE !!!!

This story tells us something about LOVE & LIFE .

My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why? " he asked, shocked.

"I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?

And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?"

Somebody said it right... It's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind.

Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?"

He said: " I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but....please allow me to explain the reasons further.....

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. .. And as I continue on reading... "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk...

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form ...

Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... AND THAT'S LIFE

Women, the Best Manager.

It’s an undeniable fact that women make better managers than men do.

Probably this statement may come off as feminist, but I’m merely stating what has been proven from the days of our great, great ancestors.

Women started off as playing a more domesticated role in the olden days. Yes, the men were always the ones going out to get food and livelihood for the family. But it’s always the women who produce something out of the food and livelihood gathered. Men may bring in fowl, beef , Vegetables and flour home. But it’s the women who then turn those items into a tasty food, beef stew and bread – all with its various condiments and side dishes.

In the contemporary world, although men have been seen to dominate the working sector previously, women nowadays are becoming more and more capable as well as competent to compete with their male counterparts. Women have over the centuries has elevated in status from mere domestic housewife to professions such as government officers, teachers/ lecturers, entrepreneurs, engineers, lawyers and many more. And it has been widely acknowledge that women are more thorough and organized then men are. I’m not sure whether the men will agree, but this is what I’ve heard, not just because I’m a woman myself

Women’s competency as managers is not something new. It has flourished over time. Women started off as manager of their own home and family and nowadays (still executing their domestic responsibilities) have also gained a respected status as managers at the work place.

I salute what women globally have achieved for themselves over the years. Keep up the great work! Girl Power!! Women Power!!....... A Winning Power. :)

Positive Approach

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case...OK"
Next Day
Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case... OK"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case... OK"
This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even if you have nothing, you can get anything. But your attitude & approach should be positive.

Today, am sharing a story of a Guy whom you would LOVE to HATE :)

Read this, and let it really sink in... Then, choose your outlook of life... whether if its a sunrise or a sunset....

Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life. "Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life." I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
 
Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.
I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action." " What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'" Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

THIS IS A **TYPICAL CONVERSATION** b/w Lovers

She Gives a missed call to him .. and he calls her back..

She:  Hello!

He:  (are yaar...Raat ke 10 bajte nahin ki iski 2-2 second waali missed
calls shuru..pata nahi aaj kya bore karegi ) Hi ...kya baat hai..?

She:  kuch nahi...bas aise hi phone kiya...

He:  ( Aise hee ??? ye kya radio station hai ki aise hee .. velli !! Aur
Call kahan kiya ?.. khali missed call to diya hai, roz ki tarah... )
oh...ok ..kya kar
rahi thi meri jaan ??

She:  abhi abhi dinner khatam kiya...tum kya kar rahe the?

He:  (mai to lunch karke utha hoon na) mera bhi abhi abhi dinner khatam
hua.. ab...."Ladki Kyon Najaane Kyon"
sun raha hu FM par....

She:  nice song..

(And then she hums a line from the song "Hum Tum")


He:  ( yaaaaaaaaarrrrr .. kyun bola gaane ka naam .. ab ye *
*Madonna**saare raag gaa degi yaheen .. Saala wahan koi chipkali 'kich
kich' kar rahi
hai ya .. ) hey!!!! tum
itni achchi gaati ho? mujhe pata hi nahi tha ..

She: *giggles*

He:  (ohhhho kya hansti hai .. aisa lag raha hai koi gaadi start kar raha
hai) Hey ek aur baar gaao na pls!

She:  yaha sab so rahe hai...agar main gaaongi to sab uth jaaenge..

He:  ( Ekdum Correct...woh yehi samjhenge ki koi bhootni hai, kisi baat par
nataaz ho gayi hai ... ) Come on! Please!

She:  hattt ...I don't sing that well

He:  (  yeh to saari duniya ko pata hai... paka kyun rahi hai ) It was
really sweet. Please
gaao na dear ..

She:  mujhe kuch ajeeb sa lagta hai jaan ..

He:  (mujhe tujhse jyada ajeeb lagta hai, dekh phyr bhi shaheed hone ko
tayaar baitha hoon) aisa kuch bhi nahi hai jaanu...gaao na
She: tumhi keh sakte ho... warna …

He:  ( mai? saala mere ko doosra raasta nahi hai....is liye bola ) abhi tum
gaaogi ya nahi?

She:  kyun pareshaan kar rahe ho?
He: Sigh! Ok

She:  I don't have that great a voice .. ye to aise hee gaa diya tha ...
warna mai nahin gaati

He:  ( fir aise hee ??? bada ehsaan karti agar nahin gaati .. kaan mai se
khoon nikalne waala hai .. saala gadha bhi sharma jaaye teri awaaz sunke.. )
hmmmm

She:  theek hai... jab itni zid kar rahe ho... sirf ek stanza gaaungi theek
hai??

He:  ( abbe teri !!! fas gayaaaaa ... shittttt .. aur kya kya jhelna padega
malum nahi.. ) Great!!!!

She:  kaunsa gaana gaau ?

He:  ( tum kuch bhi gaao... meri to aaj by default neend haraam hai..
)Hmmmm. 'Mahiya'
from Awarapan?

She:  Nice song. But mujhe lyrics yaad nahi hai

He:  ( Thank God .. Text book chhodke tujhe aur kya pata hai bol ... ) Dhoom
Machale?

She: Nahi main wohi gaana gaaungi
He:  ( Aye tere nakhre .. mai to jaise mara jaa raha hoon teri awaaz sun ne
ke liye shakira .. koi bhi gaana gaa....mere kaan to pakne waale hai ) Cool


(She clears her throat, hums a line and then)


She:  Nahi jaan. I am feeling very shy!

He:  (to shuru kyun hoti hai .. ek bar shuru hokar khatam kyun nahin karti
jaldi jaldi .. ab kya eden gardens book karun, tab gayegi) Gaao na...pls
gaao na....teri awaaz ki samundar me main doob jaana chahta hoon

She:   dekho...ab tum mujhe naaraaz kar rahe ho ..

He:  ( Achchha ab tujhe manaane mai poore sheher ko phool leke bhejun kya )
No no. Tum shy feel kar rahi ho
na....is liye... Trying to make u comfortable ..

She:  Hmmm…

He:  ( ye makkhi ki tarah kya shuru ho gayi) please gaao na darling ..

She:  main kal gaaun ?

He:   Haaaaaannnn...jaaan bachi... nikal leta hoon...abhi mauka hai ) theek
hai jaisi tumhaari
merzi

She:  Hmmm

He:  Good night

She:  Good night

She:  Sweet Dreams.. Take care...

He:  Sweets dreams to u too... (kaahe ke sweet dreams .. sone degi tab na
ayenge dreams .. abhi 2 minute mai fir call karegi bore karne ke liye)


After a while She calls Him (sorry...that never happens, she gives only a
missed call) ...


She: Hey.. so gaye the kya?

He: ( nahi...current ka aavishkaar kar raha tha...ab teri call ke baad aadmi
ke clones banaunga ) nahi jaan.

She: kya kar rahe ho?

He: ( raat ko kya gili danda khelna hai... ) Match dekh raha tha
She: theek hai tum match dekho

He: ( phone rakhegi to dekhunga na .. ya tu running commentary sunayegi) Hey
it's ok... purana
match hai.

She: Did u feel bad I didn't sing?


(Since it is a tricky question, He thinks for a while)


He: (Bad eh? Crazy girl .. this was the luckiest day in my life, since you
didn't sing
) Bad toh main nahi keh raha jaanu. But I want you to be comfortable
first.... tumhi ne bola ki main kal gaaungi..... So, me waiting..
(maine to socha tha ki aaj bach gaya....dhatttt tereki :-( )


She sings 1 stanza from the song

'Jiski aankhon me meri hi nami.....'


He: Wow. Too good!

She: jhoot....mujhe maloom hai ki meri awaaz itni achchi nahi hai

He: ( saamne aa jaa, fir bataata hoon .. pagal kar diya .. chalo shukr hai
self realization hai... :-)... ) nahi darling you really
sing well.

She: nahi..mujhe maloom hai tum bas aise hi keh rahe ho

He: ( very good.. aakhir tumne pata laga hi liya.....kyun bhagwaan kyun !!
mere saath ye julm kyun ) Cheee! Cheee! teri voice
agar itni buri hoti to main ab tak na sun raha hota

She: Hmmmm...theek hai. good night.. ab tum bhi so jaao..

He: ( achcha mil gayi permission .. waise tera gaana sunne ke baad neend
kahan aayegi ab .. ) Good night!

She: Take care

He: You too

She: Hey....

He: ( arrre yaar..aaj ye nahi chhodegi ,,, ) kya hai sweety? .

She: sach bataao honey..meri voice achchi hai ya nahi...
He: ( tu apni voice khud record karke sun kyon nahi leti ek baar !!  dimaag
ka dahi kar rakha hai .. lassi banaake peeja mere dimaag ki )
sachchi... Of course.

She: sirf jhoot

He: ( iski toh... !! jab pata hai to mujhse kya singing sensation ka award
legi !! phata dhol… ) Not at all. You
sing very well..

She: Hmmm.... tum keh rahe ho to theek hi hoga. Good night.
He: Good Night!!*

Awesome!!

Kaali maa ka pakka koi shrap hai
Nahi to apni kismat hi barbaad hai
Main diya le ke bhi dekhu to bhi nahi milti
Baakiyo ko aise de rakhi hai jaise prasad hai

Jiske ab tak samajh nahi aayi ki ye kiski baat hai
Usko to bhagwan aage bhi na mile uski yahi aukaat hai
Par mujhe to jaldi koi mast si bhijwado
Ab tak koi nahi mili, bhala kiye aise konse paap hai

Jo hame pasand aati hai ladki  wo already booked
Jisko hum pasand hai us kalmoohi ki aankhen crooked
Ghar se zor pad raha hai bhagwan bata raha hu ab
dosh na dena ek nirdosh marega kuwara jab.

Plz bhagwan kuchh karo...Reply Soon.


Krishna Ji Replied (To: All)

Ladki nahi milegi hero agar sabko aise hi pakata raha
Mere paas aana chahiye tha, 3 saal se hanuman mandir jaata raha
Chal ab tujhe ek mast upaay batata hu
Sab daudi chali aayengi aisa paath padhata hu

Jisko pasand karta hai pehle usko facebook pe add kar
Thoda thoda photo ko like aur thoda thoda chat kar
Ek din milne bula, thoda bahut ghuma aur gentleman ban ja
Phir achanak usko bhav dena band kar aur side hat ja
Phir dekh teri cut-piece kya bhaagi chali aayegi
Teri mast setting aur meri following bhi badh jaayegi

Setting ka scene chalaye rakhna par galti se kahi committ na kar jaana
Aur in sabse pehle facebook pe meri profile ka Fan ban jaana

Once upon a time... I liked a girl and hence share the same with my friend..
He Replied --- Kya yaar "Kuch bhi"

I came back to home and thought kya yaar mera friend "Kuch Bhi"

Woh ladki toh "Kuch Bhi" this...

So i made a blog "Kuch Bhi"

Kuch bhi, has come up to "Make You Happy" with using Kuch Bhi tricks...

Main Purpose of this blog is to hasna hasana with unlimited funnnnsssss..

Kuch Bhi for Kuch Bhi Funnnnnn...

Haso aur hasaoooo...