Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Amazing Ads from Matrimonial Websites



Read it completely!!!!!!   
hi, 
This is Ultimate.................I bet u can't stop laughing. 
These are Girls'  profiles taken from shaadi.com These are actual ads on 
a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a 
profile description as everything is straight from the heart! 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If 
any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good 
education but i working all field in bangalore if u like me u 
welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident 
or send u letter.. 
Thanks 
yours Regards Sowmya ~*~ 
(Truly yours) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state 
she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework 
(Homework?) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I 
love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. 
I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i 
love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on 
........hold my hand forever !!! 
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my 
lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot (I don't know why but this is one of my favorites) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but 
while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast 
(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO 
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL 
MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY 
THEY ARE 
1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD. 
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION 
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH. 
(all of us are loughing {laughing}) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone 
groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he 
would be called the man of the lamp 
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants) 
Infact she doesn ?t know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ? 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I 
love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok 
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is 
suffering from "Ok-syndrome") 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & 
mother sister completely married 
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 
' completely'?) 
( Confused ????? ) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me 
pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes 
(height of desperation! J ) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred. 
(No comments) 
(Plz ? for gods sake ask somebody ?s help in framing sentence ) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. 
i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other 
caste accepted (but credit cards not accepted..???) 
(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit s??????? Is there 
anything like that.) 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  
I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social 
service. 
(Zebra..???) 
(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS!

Questions and the Answers given by Candidates (oh sorry, most of them are IAS Officers now).

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

A.Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?

A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?

A. No Problem, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?

A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ?

A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper)

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?

A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?

A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?

A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )

Q. How many buckets of water does Pacific Ocean contains?

A : It depends on the size of the bucket. (CA Institute Campus Interview Placement)

Interviewer said 'I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!'

The boy thought for a while and said, 'my choice is one really difficult question.'

'Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.. 'What comes first, Day or Night?'

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on his answer, but he thought for a while and said, 'It's the DAY sir!'

'How' the interviewer asked.

'Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!'

&

.
.
.
.

He was selected in IIM!  Lolz 

Interview


Bill gates, the chairman of Microsoft was looking for an employee for his turkey project and invited bio-data for it. 20,000 applied, Ismail bhai from Hyderabad was one of them.

Mr. Gates called all the applicants in a large hall room and said: those who do not know java programming should leave the building. 10,000 left and 10,000 remained. Ismail bhai didn't know java but he thought he doesn't have anything to loose, so why not to take a chance, he can learn java later after he gets the job. Now Mr. Gates said: those who don't have skill in networking should leave. 5,000 left, 5,000 remained. Ismail bhai didn't leave as he thought that he can learn networking later after he gets the job, moreover he has nothing to loose, and why shouldn't he take a chance. Mr. Gates again said: those who have no experience working in Windows and Unix should leave. 3,000 left. Ismail bhai didn't leave. Lastly Mr. Gates said those who don't know turkey language should leave. 2,998 left. Ismail bhai and another person were standing in the hall. Mr. Gates said: OK, so you two guys meet all the criteria we need, fine. We shall run some test now. First you'll talk to each other in turkey language. Getting the instruction Ismail bhai very politely and casually asked the other person "Kya miya kaise hai ?" (How are you [in Hindi]) the other person replied "sab maze me chal ra, aur batau ustaad" (Everything is going fine [in hindi])!!!

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